I'm A Romance Novel Hero!

by: Ed Williams
Before we get started here, let me tell y’all that what you’re about to read is the absolute truth. The absolute, unvarnished truth. I swear it on every one of my Elvis and BTO CDs. Now, let’s get right down to it, y’all just focus your eyes on the following sentence:
I was the inspiration for the male lead in a published romance novel.
Okay, okay, scoff all y’all want. I’m not shooting the bull here, I’m shooting just as straight as Annie Oakley. And before I give out the name of this book, I need to tell y’all a little about its author and how it all came about.
Trish Jensen is the author of the book in question. Those of you who read romantic fiction might know her name, as she’s the author of several highly popular romance novels, her two latest being “Stuck With You,” and “Against His Will.” Let me also add that Trish (www.trishjensen.com) publishes with Leisure Books, a large New York based publishing house. So Trish is a major league romance author, she’s the real deal, a veritable BTO of publishing acumen, and she also happens to be a wonderful judge of character, if I do say so myself.
Trish and I met out in cyberspace several years ago because we both frequented a popular writer’s online group at that time. She writes humor, and I try to, so we became friends. I give Trish a whole lot of credit, she gave me lots of encouragement when I first began writing, and I credit a lot of whatever has happened since directly to her. Friends like her don’t just come along everyday, and I’m very proud of her and her accomplishments.
Now, in order to fully disclose, I feel that I need to tell y’all something else about Trish - she’s a yankee. Yep, I know some of y’all may be in shock over this, and I fully understand, but she’s still a good person. The best thing about Trish is that she realizes that the true utopia of the United States is right here in the South, and on account of that just about all of her books are set here. She’s so good at writing about us that I sometimes wonder if she’s being totally truthful about never having lived here. There’s some Southern blood somewhere in this girl, for sure.
Now, about the book. A few years ago, when Trish was just starting out, she wrote a romance novel called “Send Me No Flowers.” She even had to use her maiden name, Trish Graves, on the book’s cover because of some kind of contractual thing regarding her name with another publisher. Anyway, Trish starts writing this book, and the lead male character happens to be a South Carolina sheriff who’s honest, good looking, and who has women falling all over him. She named this character Rob Townsend. And when Trish considered all of his qualities, she felt that there was only one true role model for Rob, only one living person out there who could fully capture his essence, and that was moi. Me. So the book got written, and you can get on the internet and probably find a copy out there somewhere if you look really, really hard. And if y’all still don’t want to believe me, just take a gander at the dedication to the book after you get your hands on one. Read it closely. Ahem. Case closed.
Y’all might wonder why I’m finally “outing” myself as the male lead of a romance novel after this much time. Well, I’m doing it cause Trish has been a little under the weather here lately, and sometimes I think you need to acknowledge dear friends who’ve been kind to you. And in this case one who’s always been kind to me. Odds are that she’ll probably get a look at this article, and I sincerely hope that she realizes just how special she is, and why I’ll always think so fondly of her. She’s a great writer, and an even classier person. I could go on and write even more about her, but I‘m scheduled for some plastic surgery in just a couple of days, so I’ve gotta start packing - after all, one never knows when they might meet the editor of Playgirl Magazine somewhere out there in the literary world...